New Year, New ME!


As we enter 2017, lots of us set ourselves New Year’s resolutions. Why do we do this, when what we should really be doing is trying to better understand ourselves and asking questions to learn who we are, and what we want from life?

For example; what makes us happy, what interferes with this happiness? It may be a bad relationship, a difficult job, perhaps financial difficulties or a difficult and challenging experience.

Once we understand what interferes with our happiness and mental wellbeing we can begin to identify ways to overcome these obstacles.

There is nothing wrong with New Year’s resolutions, in fact I think they can be a positive force for change. After all who doesn’t want to be healthier, fitter or happier, but it is important that the goals you set for yourself are realistic. Something which is beyond your reach can on occasion have the opposite effect as you strive to achieve it, leaving you with feelings of failure.

Ok so how do we change and who can change you?  How isn’t a simple answer but who is. The answer is you.

It is important to think of yourself in a positive way. Try this exercise;

Imagine you are preparing for a job interview for your dream job. Write down as many positive aspects of yourself as you can.

How easy was this to do?

Now imagine that you were the interviewer and list both the positive and the negative things they may have thought about you.

How was that?

For many of us it is much easier to come up with lots of negative aspects of you and list those.

This is an exercise we should all practice, if we are truly comfortable with ourselves then this exercise should result in a lovely long list of positive personality traits compared to a small list of “could do betters”
Learn to forgive yourself when you make a mistake, we are human after all and nobody is perfect. Forgive others, remember we all have things going on in our lives that may not be visible on the surface.

I know this is hard but try to avoid dwelling in the past or worrying and over thinking about the future. We all need to learn to live in the moment.

Have a laugh, laugh at yourself, giggle with friends and family. Laughter is good for us, so let’s do it more.

Finally, remember that you don’t have to do things on your own, there is nothing wrong with asking for help. It isn’t a sign of weakness it is a sign of strength. Essex Mediations Counsellors and Family Mediators are equipped with the skills to offer this help, they have been helping people make positive changes for over 20 years.